mademoiselle, coco

2010-02-13T20:06:00.000Z

I HAVE A NEW BLOG!
I've created a vintage shop, and although the website is still currently in the process of being made, the blog is up and running, so get to the blog 'cause i won't be writing in this one anymore,
SPREAD THE WORD!

www.laceandleathervintage.blogspot.com
love, xo.

so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different.

2010-01-11T13:45:00.004Z

i do apologize for not updating in monthsss now, you should know by now that i'm not very good at this constant blogging thing. i'd like to tell you that i've been ridiculously busy, but i haven't, at all. the start of 2010 marked a big change for me, a reinvention of myself, so this blog will inevitably change also.

new posts coming soon, i promise!
xoxo

natalie portman.

2009-11-10T23:47:00.003Z

definitely need to be getting this issue of V.
natalie portman, what a goddess. she can literally do no wrong.

xoxo

untitled.

2009-11-10T17:28:00.003Z

just some pictures until i have anything relevant or interesting to post about.

xoxo

coco.

2009-11-09T14:56:00.000Z

coco rocha for vogue korea october '09.

xoxo

rachel zoe will be dying. like, seriously. bananas.

2009-11-07T00:25:00.002Z

I personally hate it when people constantly have to speak in Rachel Zoe lingo when referring to Rachel Zoe, but in this case, I just couldn't resist..
Well, the inevitable has happened, Taylor has left Rachel Zoe inc.
dum dum DDDDUUUUUUMMMMMM...

I seriously saw it happening, I'm pretty sure anyone who watched any show last season would have.
I personally never really warmed to her after the endless bitchiness to Brad that was season one of The Rachel Zoe Project, and the constant backing out of plans, never going out and being generally lame.
She did have an awesome wardrobe though.
But seriously, if her main concern last year was how she was sick of unpacking boxes, I reeeally don't think she's estimated correctly what her first few months, even years, of being an individual stylist is going to be.

What do you guys think? Are you going to miss Taylor, or are you excited to meet her replacement?

xoxo

p.s. I would really like to say thankyou to everyone who gave their kind words of advice on my last post. After a lot of thought, I've decided to drop out of this university, and I have an interview at H&M on Monday for a full time job. I definitely think a year out will help with the various money issues I have at the moment and will allow me to think a lot more carefully about what I want. I picked this university because they gave me an unconditional offer, and I automatically accepted because I didn't think I'd get the grades to get into anywhere else. Turns out I did but it was too late :/ My mum wasn't best pleased either, most likely because I've kinda just moved 300 miles for no reason. But oh well, thankyou again, you were all really helpful and I'll definitely be posting more if I need your guys help again!

sugar and spice.

2009-11-04T13:32:00.002Z

source: tfs

i feel like a bit of an idiot doing this, but i was wondering if you lot, whoever is gonna read this, fancies giving me their opinion. i'm currently doing a fashion media and promotion course which is 3 years long and will get me a bachelors degree at the end of it. i'm not really enjoying myself,and i'm considering just dropping out, getting a full time job, and trying to get into the fashion industry myself (ideally, to be a writer). it's been my dream since i was about 12, so i really don't want to give up on it, it's just university isn't quite what i expected.

so what do you think? do you think i should stick at my degree as i'd have more of a chance of getting a job that way or do it on my own?

xoxo

christine centenara.

2009-11-01T19:11:00.000Z

photo from stockholm streetstyle.

xoxo

double face.

2009-10-31T19:32:00.003Z

pictures from fashion gone rogue.

apologies for the lack of updates, once again. for the past month i've had a kidney infection, then fever, sickness and migraines, and now i have a bad cold. plus it was my birthday a couple of days ago, the big 19, and my mum came down from preston to brighton to visit for a few days which was lovely :) more updates soon, i promise!

xoxo

gemma, gemma, where for art thou, gemma..?

2009-10-21T23:17:00.006+01:00

student finance being tossers and the fact i had to spend £1300 on the flat for the first month (purely rent and deposit) as well as furnish it have left both myself and the boy skint.
so i had to do, something i have never wished to do in the past. throw out my nearest and dearest.
my old issues of vogue and elle.
and less throw them out, but stick them up on ebay. in doing that, i found my first ever issue of vogue that i'd bought, august 2005.
i fell in love with gemma ward as soon as i saw this editorial, and i do wish she'd sack acting off and return to the modelling world.

xoxo

love for lanphear,

2009-10-19T19:18:00.005+01:00

She's my favourite Kate, and she's been everywhere after attending the Spring/Summer collection shows, so I thought it's finally time to do a post on my love for Lanphear.

source: tfs

xoxo

well jesus christ, that's a pretty face.

2009-10-08T19:10:00.002+01:00

a little glimpse of my outfit today.
nude vest - zara, skirt - topshop, rings - vintage, pearls - vintage & topshop, bracelet - topshop.

it's all false love and affection.

2009-10-05T15:19:00.002+01:00

i cannot stop thinking about these babies.
miss selfridge, absolutely gorgeous.
plus, they have 20% student discount now so i can have them for a mere £40, instead of £50.
bargain, eh.

apologies for the lack of updates, i moved from preston to brighton, about 300 miles, and have been staying with the boyfriends parents, until friday when we finally got our own place. i've started my fashion media & promotion course, and i'm currently unpacking and decorating the flat, i'll post pics as soon as i'm done!

x

i can see you burning with desire for a kiss, psychobabble all upon your lips.

2009-09-03T19:48:00.005+01:00

my obsession for acne seems to be growing, especially with these images of their spring/summer collection.
from what i can see, i love the baggy grey trousers and the peach/white dress, which i could definitely see ashley olsen wearing.

what are your opinions, and whose s/s collections do you love?
x

you got a fast car, i got a ticket to anywhere..

2009-09-02T17:00:00.003+01:00

i'm moving away with the boy very soon, to somewhere where the winter weather could be much, much worse or much better.
anyway, this is my autumn/winter wishlist..

what are you wishing for this autumn?
x

90's revival.

2009-09-02T15:02:00.002+01:00

oh. sweet. jesus.

wtf is pixie doing? the outfit is one thing, but the hair is another. her shitty, tacky extensions have now turned her hair into a mullet.
i literally have no words. she looks like she's raided the bad sections of oxfam.
and the thing is, she looks like she's trying to do 90's grunge and looking like she doesn't care, yet clearly does because she paid to have those extensions put in?!
awful. just awful.
this is a prime example of celebrities daughters having an interest in fashion, classing themselves as 'alternative' and wearing 'unique' clothes, and people seeing them as this unique being and this 'fashion icon'.
she's not, clearly. she looks like she slept in a dustbin and put on whatever she found in there.
she should never be allowed into a fashion show ever again.

for those of you wishing to pull of 'grunge' successfully, look to the usuals - zoe kravitz, mary kate, etc!

x

stomp.

2009-08-27T13:58:00.002+01:00

LOVE.
i am so in love with these acne boots. i want to buy them when i get loans, but is it okay to spend £335 as soon as loans come through?!
i do get a maintence grant that i don't have to pay back of about 3 grand, but still!
opinions, yes or no?

i also want the sam edelman boots that are currently on nastygal.com, they're only about £210!

x

might as well have fun, 'cause your happiness is done.

2009-08-21T21:08:00.004+01:00

these images make me excited for autumn.
i'm dying for a faux fur coat and several brightly coloured nail varnishes to cheer up the dark, windy days that are to come.

x

ah oui oui.

2009-08-06T21:43:00.002+01:00

i'm loving black boots at the moment, particularly those suede, studded, and in similar styles to those balenciaga ones we so often see mary kate wearing. i'm yet to find any which i can wear during the day with comfort, but i love this selection.

mood - hungover. best thing about this weekend - rachel's birthday, the prospect of a girly night in with champagne. what i’m reading - a book for university. what i’m watching - mock the week, but anticipating the release of the rachel zoe project season two! make-up lust - ysl foundation and touche eclat. listening to - friendly fires, kings of leon, wham. favourite recent purchase - my shoulder padded topshop tunic. what i’m looking forward to this week - rachel's gathering & alton towers. i want - elle september issue. aim for tomorrow - get elle september issue.

love, xoxo.

we'll talk while the sun goes down, and watch the lovers, leaving town.

2009-07-28T20:19:00.003+01:00

my favourite editorial from august's uk vogue.
whilst stuck in the rainy, dull north of england, i always find myself dreaming about how i would much rather be in paris, even if it was rainy and dull, i'd spend my days looking round small boutiques and little coffee shops.

well, hello! my laptop has been broken for months! and i finally got it back today, so expect much more blogging from now on! i've also got to create a new blog, as i learnt today i have two summer projects to do before university in september. i thought i'd mind, but i find myself stuck indoors with nothing to do in this vile weather, and no money to spend, so the idea of getting stuck into two fashion projects is quite exciting me!

love, xoxo.

30.05.09

2009-05-30T21:13:00.003+01:00

nude vest, zara. acid wash vest, topshop. grey cropped tee, asos. studded boots, ebay. black bodycon, topshop.

thought i'd share my latest buys, thanks to the mother, as they're really the only thing making me happy at the moment. me and the boy are having quite a few of problems, and i'm trying my hardest to make him happy, i just don't seem to be doing a great job.
so this weekend was meant to be fun, but he went home.

anyway, happy weekend to you all!
love, xoxo.

je t'aime,

2009-05-26T22:16:00.012+01:00

Elusive

lusting over the thought of mine and the boy's new apartment, finally reading lula issue eight, and this song, over and over.

love, xoxo

let me in!

2009-05-24T16:09:00.007+01:00

as my love for oversized fashion, art and photography books continues, i thought i'd add this to my collection.
'let me in!', mario testino.
as you can tell from the selection of my favourite photographs, there's just so many amazing shots.

enjoy!
love, xoxo.

i love it to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades.

2009-05-23T23:02:00.003+01:00

mk for 'fashion', march 2009.

yes, okay, i'm a little behind! these are the first photo's i've seen of mk's shoot, and really, i'm a little disappointed. i think they've styled her to look a lot more like ashley, perfectly styled hair and flawless make-up, contrasting with mk's personal style.

what do you all think?

love, xoxo.

come and make my day,

2009-05-22T21:08:00.004+01:00

image: lookbook.nu
i have no thoughts or real feelings to put into this blog, so i thought i'd give you a photograph.
a lovely photograph, though.
oh, actually one thought: i need a real girlfriend, a friend that is a girl, that is. i don't really have any anymore

love, xoxo

13.05.09

2009-05-13T23:52:00.003+01:00

i've got to get myself down to h&m, and soon!
it would help if i hadn't just sold a load of clothes on ebay, made over £150 and spent it all so soon.
i've gotten a lot out of it though:

a new vintage satchel, an anna sui purse, a beaded black dress, a vintage white clutch, some rosaries, two pairs of vintage clip ons, a pair of black studded boots, a vintage 'toilet' sign for the new flat, and some peg leg trousers. oh, and £45 in the bank.

not terrible all in all!
i don't really know what the lack of updates has been about. a lack of inspiration, and time mainly.
i finish college in two days.
the past 7 years of my life over with, boom.
honestly, i can't wait.

love, xoxo.
14.05.09

my bright is too slight, to hold back all my dark.

2009-05-01T23:48:00.004+01:00

i definitely think this will have to be my first ever diy project!
image: lookbook.

apologies for the lack of updates, i'm now into the last two weeks of my a-levels = stress levels reaching new heights.
it's all going well though, but lots and lots of revision and essays to be done.

i'm really going crazy on shopping at the moment to take my mind off it. however, it is all fine, as i've sold the majority of my wardrobe and have around £250 coming in over the next couple of weeks, and my mother has come into some money and has promised me a shopping spree!
today, i bought 'the little black book of style' by nina garcia, which i love. it's none of this bollocks
"you should wear this because you are curvy" or whatever, it's all about having confidence to pull of anything, key pieces, etc. also, a cute notebook from paperchase for £9, and a bowler hat from topshop, for a whole £1.
god bless the sales.

this weekend will comprise of working 7-1 each morning, god help me, doing lots of work, and trips to see tom again.
have a great weekend everyone,
love, xoxo

i'm running away with you, just like i always do..

2009-04-26T20:12:00.004+01:00

oh my oh my oh my!
i wish! the perfect summer tank, oui?

my weekend has been lovely, spending time with the boy, drinking in the sun, making the most of it as it's due to rain starting tomorrow! also planning moving back in together during my exams, and talking a lot more seriously about him moving to brighton with me for university next year.
aahh, parfait.

hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!
love, xoxo

p.s. it's too small to see in this picture, but the tank is a.wang!

full stops and exclamation marks.

2009-04-21T16:20:00.005+01:00

i've had a severe lack of inspiration for posts recenty, so i thought i'd show you all some of my favourite possessions, and along with my favourite clothes, what i would absolutely make a grab for if i had to leave in a fire!
my vintage typewriter, inherited jewellery box, inherited lockets and opal ring (this is perhaps my favourite thing ever, i only ever take it off for a shower. it's a huge opal, surrounded by sapphires, and i love it!), a small collection of my vast collection of vinyls, my vintage vinyl player, and of course, a couple of fashion glossies must be included!

so now, i invite everyone who might possibly be reading this to share, what are your favourite possessions?
love, xoxo.

i am calm, a pearl in your oyster.

2009-04-17T23:14:00.004+01:00

apologies for the lack of updates, my internet was disconnected. i'm now living back at the mothers after the landlord busted his way into the house, and went apeshit at the huge hole in the ceiling, expectedly. although it's his fault.
wanker.

so, i'm back at my mum's, being annoyed already by my brother, although he only he's going back to university tomorrow.
my tiny, hovel of a room is taken entirely up by mine and tom's belongings, all in boxes, so i can't even dig out my 200+ fashion magazines to cheer me up.

plus, back to the hellhole college on monday, for quite possibly the hardest eight weeks of my life.
what a depressing entry of me.
i promise better ones soon!

love, xoxo

well, i'll confess all of my sins after several large gins.

2009-04-13T20:02:00.003+01:00

but still i'll hide from you, hide what's inside from you.

ah, i had a fantastic conversation about the sheer brilliance of the libertines with a stranger on saturday night.
however, worse comedown of my life on sunday, hence the lack of updates!

i'm in the process of throwing out or selling the majority of my clothes, and starting over.
re-thinking my image and style completely.
although, as a size 12, 5'2 girl who lives in the most boring city in preston ever, surrounded by people wearing tracksuits, it's a little bit difficult.
i'm starting a fashion course next year, and i need to look good! absolutely not the sort of person who wears sweats and hoodies to college or university!

first: i need white high waisted peg trousers & gladiator platform shoes, to go with my tri-blend grey american apparrel tee.
wish me luck!

love, xoxo

2009-04-09T18:03:00.003+01:00

i thought i must share these images with those unfortunate enough not to own harper's bazaar uk may edition.

my god, half term is boring me.
i wish i had the money to go out and do things, and that the weather would be that little bit hotter so i could lounge on a park all day.
love, xoxo

pardon me, but wasn't that your heart?

2009-04-06T18:02:00.003+01:00

i'm spending my day only waking up at 4pm, blogging, chain smoking, embracing the fact it's half term. then, i will be sorting out my organization, in the form of filing all my work, and tidying the room in anticipation of the boyfriend returning late tomorrow night, or early wednesday morning. either way, the day will be spent avoiding the rain outside. oh, and watching the sex and the city movie for the god-knows-how-many-times.

happy monday, i hope everybody's was relaxing as mine.
although i sincerely doubt it.
love, xoxo

230209

2009-04-04T20:24:00.001+01:00

oh, how i love this woman.
courtney, controversial as ever.
xoxo

source: fashion indie.

"fashion is ephemeral. i only wear last season's collections, it's my job."

2009-04-04T14:06:00.000+01:00

reading 'indie' magazine this morning, to amuse me whilst serving the usual louts for beer and cigarettes early this morning at work, i was especially interested by the Karl Lagerfeld's interview, generally talking about his life, fashion, and the documentary 'Lagerfeld Confidential', which i actually never knew existed! so i'll be happily downloading that later to watch.

i also discovered this magazine, published by the same company that publishes 'indie'.
i've never seen it in bookshops or stores before, so i don't know how easy or difficult it will be to get hold of, but it definitely looks interesting.
i like how feminine they all look, especially the third picture. it's quite a change from what i usually go for in magazines, especially looking at the new cover of 'indie'.

anyway, today's plan are absolutely nothing! tom is going to portsmouth to visit his family for a few days, so i'll be alone in the house until wednesday, so expect plenty more blogs!

happy weekend, xoxo

yesterday, i woke up sucking a lemon.

2009-04-02T00:58:00.000+01:00

you have got no idea how much i am lusting after having long blonde hair again right now.

two days until the end of term, then maybe i'll have more interesting posts.
i have just twenty more days of sixth form left, and then i get a four month summer!
which is possibly the most exciting prospect, and what is pushing me through these last few weeks of college.
and then! it's off to brighton for university, living properly alone with the boyfriend, having my own place for the first time ever!
ahh, it's all happening!

does anyone else have an urge to watch 'almost famous' now?
love, xoxo

LEEDS FESTIVAL!

2009-03-30T22:00:00.000+01:00

just this once, i'll go into crazy mode in this blog, and say I GOT FUCKING LEEDS TICKETS! HELL TO THE YES!
the line-up, thus far:

it was mine and my boyfriend's year anniversary on sunday. i bought him this joystick thing that is controlled by your brain?! pretty hi-tech.
so he took me shopping for presents, and i was majorly disappointed to find absolutely nothing that i wanted! and so, i decided that unless you are insanely rich, or have very generous rich parents, and can buy these one off amazing pieces, you have to walk round in the same styles, or even same clothes as everyone else. one of my friends informed me she saw a girl wearing my exact cream lace dress from topshop, and my exact brogues. if i had seen this girl myself, i'm sure i would have died of shame.

and so, my boyfriend is buying me vinyl player, and a sewing machine, so i can start to make, and customize my own clothes, because, forgive me to those topshop lovers (i used to be one of you) but everyone looks the same! i live in a small city, which just one vintage shop, which i visit very often, but it's limiting. so i resided to buying practically all my clothing from topshop, having no urban outfitters, no zara, no mango, etc! but in the store yesterday, i saw nothing that stood out to me, nothing that i knew no-one else would be interested in.

and so, i'm giving up. i'm making my own clothes, customizing pieces from high-street stores that i love, not just like, and trailing through rows of clothes at vintage stores, and charity shops. so i think, trips to manchester or just bigger cities will be needed soon! plus, i need to find inspirational pictures, as i am no designer!

rant over, and now the history coursework begins.
how was everyone's weekend?
love, xoxo.

you pushed me to the top floor so we could see the sights.

2009-03-27T23:24:00.000Z

guess who i am going to see on the 22nd may, in my small little city of preston..?

these fine young gentlemen!
who, if you don't know, go by the name of 'friendly fires'.
aaahhhh so excited!

anyway, just to get that out of the way.
today was lovely, i went shopping alone, which i find is the best way. i found a gorgeous grey/acid wash vintage skirt for just £5, and bought a over-sized off the shoulder topshop top with a rose printed on to go with it.

it looks like nothing here, it's much nicer in real life!

and, then! i bumped into this man several times throughout walking in town, and the last time i saw him, he asked me if i was single! he looked around 30, so i told him i was much too young for him! he thought i was twenty five!

my god some people need their eyes testing.
happy weekend, everyone. xoxo

this is a moon without a tide,

2009-03-25T14:19:00.001Z

oh, how i long for my hair to be long again. and for full lips. although, seeming my lips are pretty much normal sized, and my hair is just past my shoulders, having either of these things anywhere near soon seems very unlikely!

i hate how much work i have to do when the weather is so lovely!
grrr.

2009-03-21T22:17:00.000Z

after returning home from work, and kissing the boy goodbye, this is what my day consisted of.
buying flowers for mother's day tomorrow, mary kate's interview, i-D april, history revision, receiving my lovely new necklaces through the post, and listening to the postal service vinyl on repeat.

ahh, lovely.

to me, new york was jackson pollock sipping vodka and dripping paint onto a raw canvas.

2009-03-19T20:54:00.000Z

for the, i don't know how many times, i'm watching factory girl.
except, it's in my mothers house, which i cannot smoke in. which causes a problem, when practically every single scene of the film involves at least five people smoking!

it almost makes me want to dress all 60's,
although of course the coat must be faux fur!
i saw some fantastic chelsea boots in a little vintage store today, but as much as i tried to squeeze my feet into them, they were just one size too small! a long with some eighties heels i found.
i think i must shrink! at only 5'2, clearly not in height, but in weight and feet size!

love, xoxo

who would have thought i'd need you here,

2009-03-18T00:16:00.000Z

i'm excited for charity shop shopping tomorrow, which i plan on doing alone.
i hope to find something like this, or general storage items for my new apartment in brighton in september!
perhaps i should read a bit of 'it's vintage, darling' before to give me some chic ideas.

oh, and i wore the outfit today! i was generally impressed, apart from my toes pinching about 5 hours into the day.

love, xoxo

modern vintage,

2009-03-16T14:28:00.000Z

this would have been my outfit today, had i gone into college.
usually thinking up what i shall wear the night before encourages me to go in.
today, i didn't, and feeling sick, i stayed in bed.
where i still am, right now.

What are you wearing now? absolutely nothing, except a ring. see above for what i should have been wearing today!

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? at the moment, all i have time for reading is hamlet, and history books. so, it was 'years of renewal' by john lotherington!

Do you nap a lot? if i got up early to go work, i'll usually nap when i get home, yes.

Who was the last person you hugged? tom.

What’s your current obsessions/addictions? cigarettes, shopping online, vintage, buying decoration magazines and getting ideas about furniture and my house when i move to brighton, collages, brogues, and ebay.

Which item from your closet are you wearing most lately? probably my vintage-esque cream lace dress, and my new sheer oversized floral dress. oh, and my brogues.

What's for dinner? who knows.

What was the last thing you bought? ahhh! a gorgeous clock ring yesterday, and a necklace with two charms: one of the eiffel tower, and one saying 'oui'.

What are you listening to right now? i can hear chris in the other room listening to music, and the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? being able to turn everything into money, or just have money magically appear whenever i want some, which is all the time.

What is your favorite weather, and why? days when it's slightly warm, but with no wind, which is quite unusual in these parts.

What time do you usually get up? 6.30am, on college days. weekends, either 6.30 am, or 7.30am, as i work.

What is your most challenging goal right now? catching up with all the college work i have missed.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? new york city.

Favorite vacation spot? paris in the springtime.

What is your favorite item of clothing? its too hard to choose just one.

Favorite pair of shoes you keep going back to over and over, even though your closet is overflowing with a zillion others: my brogues, and grey leather ankle boots.

Name one thing you cannot live without: quiet. i've learned from living in a house with my boyfriend and his friends, how much i enjoy just being alone.

What time is bed time? if i had my own way, about 3am. however, i go to college, to usually it's about midnight.

If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow morning, where would it be? ahh, i'd just be in brighton already :) in an apartment with tom, filled with vintage furniture and clothing.

love, xoxo

someday, you will, be loved.

2009-03-15T16:15:00.001Z

life's a bit tiresome at the moment. i've just started going back to college properly, so the work load is huge, and i'm tiring of living in this house.
don't get me wrong, i love living with tom, and even chris. it's just, call me a bit of a loner, but i like my own space. i like the quiet, and just knowing i'm alone in the house. and i can never get this here, because friends are constantly round! and not only are they here, they're inconsiderate enough to sit up laughing and screaming all night, despite that i have to get up at 6.30am most mornings.
so, just a bit sick of things at the moment.
plus, i have about 6 fashion magazines in my room, even ones far back as V winter edition, that haven't been read yet! simply because i don't have the time!

so, this isn't a very interesting blog.
i'd also just like to express my annoyance with shops that only sell xs-s clothing!
and how cheesy i look in this photo! it'd be lovely otherwise!

xoxo

one day we're gonna live in paris, i promise, i'm on it.

2009-02-20T00:31:00.001Z

retail therapy has been my new vice at the moment.

no coursework, no essays, no revision. all i've been doing is selling, buying, and dreaming of clothes.
so far i have received: brogues from my mother, a gorgeous cream lace dress from topshop off my mother, a fabulous 80's jacket, shoulder pads galore, a topshop long vest/dress a la wang, and gorgeous grey ankle boots in a sale, at just £15.
now, i am officially skint.
i just spend my last five pounds, despite payday only being yesterday, on twenty cigarettes.

however, the new myspace selling clothes mania means i have also got a gorgeous mock-croc vintage bag coming, and two pairs of vintage earrings.

currently listening to: strobe, friendly fires.

lets drive to brighton on the weekend,

2009-02-15T19:14:00.000Z

looks like this might just be my new home, as of september '09.
quite frankly, i really can't wait!

even my mum is going, 'oooh! i must be invited down'.

anyway enough daydreaming about moving to brighton!
tonight:
v magazine, elle decoration, and i-D magazine.
oh, thrown in with a little sex and the city.
bliss.

everything around you will become supersized,

2009-02-13T18:14:00.000Z

i am beyond bored. i've got my conditional offer, now i want my loan, and to just pack up and leave. i'll live in a little flat, hopefully with tom, surrounded by vintage clothes and furniture, looking like something straight out of apartamento magazine.

my mum's taking my shopping soon, seeming she's saving so much money now i don't live there anymore, it's only right she spends it on me, ha! i think we'll be spending most of the trip in topshop, after doing a little online shopping beforehand.

currently listening to:
digitalism, pogo.

she's elusive, and i'm awake.

2009-02-12T19:09:00.001Z

so, another little update from moi!

i've just received a letter saying i've got an unconditional offer from the university i want to go to, to do fashion media and promotion! so very excited. my laptop is now fixed, and so i am spending the entire night on it. and my style at the moment is 'chavvy chic', which yes, i did just invent.

i want this entiree outfit. so far, i have the glasses.

Describe your personal style: indie, vintage, scruffy, modern.

What are the staples in your wardrobe? black tights, stirrup leggings, dresses, big cardigans, brogues, one black coat, vests, monochrome colours.

What's your signature look? messy hair, bare face and bright lips, monochrome basics, prints, never wearing jeans!

What inspires you? the people i see, although never those in real life.

Who is your fashion muse? i honestly don't have one.

Favorite purchase of all time? my vintage topshop heels, motel dress, vintage satchel.

Biggest splurge? i never, ever splurge, i'm far too skint.

Beauty routine? foundation, ysl touche eclat, dior blusher, mascara, vaseline.

What jewelry do you never take off? my opal and sapphire ring i inherited from my grandma.

What are you wishing for? a record player, a typewriter, to be going to university now, and lots of dolla.

What are your obsessions? overpriced fashion magazines, online shopping and selling.

you are the bluest light,

2009-01-09T16:01:00.000Z

the past few weeks have been stressful. i've had difficulty sleeping, and i've been reduced to tears practically every single day, because of coursework, exams, and arguments with tom. he's got a new house now, and i'm practically going to be living there, which i think will actually improve our relationship. when we stayed at chris and ash's without them from christmas day to new years eve, we didn't argue at all, and for some reason it's only when we're with other people that we do.

anyway, this is only a short entry, because i have to tidy my room, rearrange my interview because surrey have still not got back to me, do some revision, english coursework, and then go and help everyone move later.

love, catherine.
xoxo

2008-12-19T21:38:00.000Z

wow, another post. this is pretty good for me.

since last thursday i haven't been in school. i've led in bed, or been at chris and ash's with tom, every single day. doing work, but still. this whole stress thing is really starting to affect me. i'm tired all throughout the day, and then when it comes to time to go to sleep, i can't. i stay awake until at least two a.m, which really is something for me as i'm usually falling asleep by half ten. and then when it gets to getting up, i'm amazingly tired, and i can't bring myself to get up. more than twice this week, the thought of going to college has reduced me to tears. and usually, i enjoy it so much, i love seeing my friends and i love the majority of my lessons. :/ we broke up today, and i spent it in bed, watching sex and the city when i should really have been doing coursework, or at least going to school.

tom's gone to portsmouth until christmas eve, so that gives me time to do absssoluteeely nothing, except buy christmas presents, make the scrapbook i'm giving tom for christmas, and do revision and finish coursework. so i guess that seems like quite a lot..

but yeah. i bought this dress today from my grandad, who just gave me money for christmas. call me lame, but as soon as i saw it on ~~diana vickers~~ i've wanted it ever since, aha!

love, catherine.

it's been seven hours, and fifteen days,

2008-12-07T14:22:00.000Z

so, i haven't written in a longgg time, again. everything's going generally well.

i'm just waiting for christmas, really. it's two weeks of college until the holidays, and i wish it would come around now. i've got three pieces of coursework in before i finish, and despite not feeling especially stressed, i am. i've got a twitch, which i am LOVING (:/) and i'm grinding my teeth loudly every night, which tom is loving. he wakes me up every single night telling me to stop it, i think i'm going to have to get some mouth guard fitted, which i'm not looking forward to.

but really, everything's not going fantasticly well at the moment. i've got all this school work to do, and me and tom have either really good days with each other, or really bad days. one minute, we'll be acting absolutely in love, and the next acting like we're on the jerge of breaking up, which can't really be helping with my 'stress'. i've got far too much on my mind, and i'm sick of this routine.

tom asked me to move in with him, and i really, really want to, especially seeming there's no guarantee he's moving down south with me next year, as he's looking into going to university again.

and speaking of that, i've got one offer from southampton, and an interview with northbrook college, for fashion journalism and fashion media and promotion. i'm dyiiinggg for my first and second choices to respond!

i think i'll go and sort my clothes out now/files/do some work/online shopping for christmas.
too much to do :/

love,
xoxo

all you need is love,

2008-11-04T21:22:00.000Z

aha, he said it!

it's everywhere i look,

2008-10-30T21:20:00.000Z

all over the television, all over magazines, the words on my walls, on the art work i chose to put up there. it's in the music, it's on the lips of my friends who have been together for two months. yet me, i'm still waiting for the three little words that refuse to appear from my boyfriend's lips, who i have been with for seven months.

and now, after writing this, he comes round, which i expect him to be coming home after i've been alone all day waiting for him to come round at work, saying he's out with friends who he's now spent the past three nights with. and because, i can't rant to him or anyone else, i'll do it here.

he talks all the time of different parts of me being his, or if a boy comes along who might just happen to look my way, i'm tom's, not his. yet, i feel he can never truely be mine because he is so preoccupied. whilst we were away in portsmouth, we had an argument, of which i felt my side was perfectly reasonable, that i wanted to spend some time alone with him. yes, we spent alone time yesterday but it was my birthday, so really he had to. but in portsmouth, he was constantly wanting to rush off to other people's houses, which half of the time he didn't even introduce me to the person, which just made this whole other world of southerners, weed, computer games, and whatever else these people are interested in and i'm not, even worse. i sat there, wondering why i travelled for thirteen hours to come and see me, to see in some person's house, being ignored.

and then, yesterday at these friend's houses, he talks about next year. next year was supposed to be me moving away to university, which will be in london, which made him think of the idea of him moving down there too and living with friends. i suggested us living together, and he agreed, which made the deal seem real, as if it was going to happen. perhaps maybe i just got my hopes up too high, because now it's, he's off to university somewhere, and even inviting his friends to come down and live with us. i know, it's perfectly acceptable to not want to move away from friends. but to me, next year was about me, and tom. moving away together, if we were still together, taking a really big step in our relationship. and now, it's about, me, tom, and his friends, of which he never even considered my opinion in the matter.

honestly, i don't really know why he's with me. he's not told me he loves me, he seems so preoccupied the majority of the time, he wouldn't even notice if i wasn't there. i don't think he even knows to be honest. y'know, it may seem like a big deal, but i need reassurance. the past boyfriends i've had have told me they love me within the first month, or even before we were together, which may seem a little unrealistic, but we were together for two months, and the other guy, it was real. i don't understand how after seven months together, he can't have said it. he told me, after stupidly getting upset about it, that he needs everything to be sorted in his life before he can say it, which i didn't understand at all but i accepted. but, i've come to realise, his life is never going to be sorted. he can never have a period of time where i'm the only thing involved. this half term, we were meant to be going away together, only somewhere in england, but together. but where did we end up, portsmouth. when i suggested a trip to london in summer, where did we end up, but portsmouth. he cares so much about seeing other people, which there is nothing wrong with. but he seems to never have the time to care about seeing me. i'm the thing he goes to spend with, and wakes up with, and the only real time we end up spending alone together is in bed,

everyone sees us as the perfect couple, all my friends, everyone. yet i'm coming to see, we're not. not at all. i love him, so much, and i can't even say it, and all i ever say is yelling at him for the things he has and hasn't done, which would all be made better by telling him this. but i can't, because he won't say it in return. i don't know what to do, because it's never going to change. he simply does not have the time for me, it seems. but i don't want to lose him.

i've been on top of the world,

2008-10-05T17:09:00.000+01:00

since about six months ago, marking the first time i laid eyes on you.

so, last time i wrote, all those months away, i talked of how i wanted to move away for university and couldn't wait until i could, but how much i'd miss tom. well, a few weeks ago tom mentioned moving down south when i move, but with no real details. then yesterday, we were on the phone talking of how we miss each other, as he's just gone to portsmouth for three weeks, but he said we'd be fine next year 'cause he's been offered places to live down south so he'd be able to see me more often. so, as we were talking about this, i said, 'could you not just move in with me?', and he agreeeeed! haha, i feel so, so lame typing this into an internet site, but i was just so happy when he said this i felt the need to. i mean, it just shows how serious this relationship is, despite the fact we've only been together for 6 months.

our relationship is so different to the majority of people my age. my friends, they go around saying they 'love' their boyfriends, and two minutes later they'll be slagging him off, complaining about the stupidest things ever, laughing about the pathetic arguments they've been having. me and tom have never had a serious argument that wasn't more than a silly little contrasting in opinions discussion.

aaaahh i'm so happy :)

a silent smile,

2008-08-07T13:59:00.000+01:00

i suppose the 'i'll write in a few days' just failed really. i'm almost three weeks into my summer holidays, which is half way, and i've not really stopped. the first week i just spent time with tom, and then went to scotland, and i spent the whole past week with him until he dropped me off at home yesterday, kissing me on my doorstep.

i'll write more often, or i'll try to the next few weeks, i just feel like i never have any time, and i just end up repeating everything i've been doing, which isn't especially interesting to do. i wish i could write a deep, meaningful blog about my feelings, but i can't, because i don't feel much right now except complete happiness.

actually, i do have one complaint, one feeling other than that..
a longing to get out of preston, grow up, have my own apartment, my own money, be independant. i suppose i've started off feeling like this after being with tom, who's twenty two and lives miles and miles away from his family with all his friends. i mean, that's great but i don't even want that. i've lived in preston for seventeen years, and it is not me, at all.. it's full of 'chavs', primark, cheap people, cheap things, lager louts, a place where anyone with a slight bit of individuality gets laughed at or gets strange looks. in a way, i cannot wait until i can go to university, because it'll be in surrey or london, or at least down south, and i'll be moving away from everything that i dislike about preston, or lancashire in general. i know, i'll miss my family, my friends, tom if we're still together, but i'll be embarking on a whole new experience that i feel i really, really need.

you're winning me over, with everything you say,

2008-07-06T11:32:00.000+01:00

i haven't posted in about a month, i've barely been on the internet in this time, but i promise i'll start writing more after this, it is almost summer soon, in two weeks time, so then i'll be freeee! and have lots to write about. i've just been insanely busy the past 4 weeks with college, tom getting home, starting coursework and art projects, it's been really quite stressful.

and i'm not going to do a blog writing about everything that has been and gone, so..
i'll write in a few days or so :)
love, catherine

made-up love song #43,

2008-06-08T18:55:00.000+01:00

i guess it's about time i wrote in here, seeming i haven't for.. over a week now? about four posts in and i'm already getting sloppy.

so, as you know, well, no you don't. i had my four last exams on monday, media and history. media wasn't too bad, but seeming the grade boundaries are so close together, you can drop six marks and get a C, so i don't think i've done too impressively on that. and history, oh dear god. i've failed, completely. and everytime i think about it i get a horrible feeling in my stomach, because i know how badly i've done. so i'll be retaking them in christmas/summer :/ which won't be too good.

but anyway, so that happened, and i felt horrible. but then, tom picked me up from my house at 9pm on monday after taking another trip to eddy, and we set off for his. without going into major details, i was sick, took lots, had an amazing time with tom and all his friends, he kept on complimenting me, along with his friends telling me i'm the best girlfriend he's had, and he agreeing, with just made me feel so accepted and so nice :) so monday was just amazing, went to bed with tom about 2pm on tuesday for a few hours, woke up and did lots for him, due to him not being able to walk from the night before's activities, ahah. but i didn't mind at all. :) tuesday we just stayed up talking more, drank some beers, watched a film, and woke up about 10am on wednesday to a bomb site surrounding us, his room was such a mess. so we tidied up a bit, went back to bed for a while, both had showers and went shopping to asda for food and drink for the barbeque we were going to have that night. had the bbq, more people came over once again, i got drunk, tom didn't really drink because of the state he was still in from tuesday and wednesday, and we actually had a reasonably early night! thursday, we woke up, chilled for most of the day, and tom drove me to the trafford centre, where i bought a new white quilted bag, just until i can afford the chanel 2.55 bag, a new top and the 'fashion now 2' book from selfridges, which i enjoyed :) we went home, watched tv, and had another early night. friday, we went into bolton, got a nice ice cream and walked about mainly, and bought tom things that he needed for going home to portsmouth for the week. and i got sad, the entire day, because it meant the four or five days we'd spent together were coming to an end and i wouldn't get to see him for about ten days. he drove me home, we took about an hour and a half to properly say goodbye, and i cried. CRIED. i knew i i would, as much as i didn't want to infront of tom, but i did, ahaha. he told me off for 'faking crying to get him to stay', but i knew he didn't want to leave as well, he kept trying to drive off with me still in the car.

whilst at the party on monday, despite whatever i was taking, i felt so close to him, like i wanted to scream my feelings to him. ash sat down with us, and asked us if we'd told each other we loved each other yet, and we said no, because we haven't, obviously. tom said 'love is a strong word, and it's either thrown around too much or not enough and i don't want to be one of those people', which basically translated to me that he doesn't love me. and maybe it's because i get far too attached too easy, or the age difference, or what, but i felt at that moment like i loved him. and i'm still getting those feelings now, at this very moment i could tell him that, i had such a huge urge to tell him as he was leaving on friday that i love him. i've never been in a relationship with someone as old as him, i've only dated guys around two years older than me at the most, and the majority of them told me they loved me after around a week, which they clearly didn't feel at all and just thought they loved me. and the two guys i have been in love with were in difficult situations with so it was quicker than the one i'm in with tom. but i've met him and liked him for more than ten weeks now, and we kissed the first time we ever met, and we've been seeing each other since then until the 20th may, which i know is only.. just over two weeks. so in that sense, i feel it is too short of a time to tell him that? aaahhh i don't know, all i know is that i do feel that way, and i miss him like hell already, and i want him home.

i don't know, it's just the whole situation i love. i love the fact he has his own house, so when i go there, there's no interruptions, no parents being nosy, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, no problem about it. and how mature he is, how different he is to the rest of the guys i've dated. honestly, i'd move in with him right now if it was an ideal situation, but it clearly isn't, me going to college in lancaster, which is an hour train journey away. and i know my work would suffer, which really, it can't get much worse.

i've even got so attached, i've started thinking about next year, and how, if i get into the fashion university i want to go to in surrey, how amazing it would be if he moved there with me. i mean, i shouldn't be thinking about that yet! we've been official for not even three weeks! dearie me, i need to slow down and get some perspective i think. as much as i love the feelings i've got right now, i don't, because he doesn't share them with me.

ahhh i miss him :/ see! this is exactly what i mean, i was with him 48 hours ago! and i miss him!
how annoying

anyway, to get off the subject of tom that i appear to have just written a lootttttt about, i've got college tomorrow, which i'm not looking forward to, because it will involve talking to teachers about exams, which i don't want to dooo! and i'm going for a chinese tonight, watching corrie, big brother, and sunday night project, and then most likely getting an early night so i can get up nice and early tomorrow for college.

i'm still counting down the days 'til he's home
eight days to go..
love, catherine.

elle est,

2008-06-01T20:22:00.000+01:00

i'm a firm believer in the thought that everything happens for a reason, and i really believe in karma. believing in this results in the idea that bad things happen to bad people. so today, my bag was stolen. my mother and i were putting flowers on my grandma's grave, a nice, caring thing to do. and whilst we were doing this, despite only being gone from the car for less than five minutes, some yob smashed my mother's car window, and stole my handbag, containing my ipod, phone, purse with £110 in it, bank card, four history books, cigarettes, a ten bag of weed, revision notes, ysl make-up, pencil case, and a top. honestly, i cried for about an hour, not only because i'd lost the majority of my most prized possessions, as well as a bag i was in love with, i'd caused my mum's car to be broken into.

so after this, i thought, as pathetic and cliche of people to think after this sort of thing, why me? what had i done to deserve this, if everything happens for a reason, and what goes around comes around?

and then it just made me think of how despicable the public of the majority of england are today. tom's car was almost stolen on friday, and then two days later about £500 of my possessions were stolen. i honestly feel lost without them, and i hate not being able to contact tom, especially today. we spoke on the phone for about an hour before, but i need to speak to him tonight, i need to just be able to text him and complain about history and media revision getting me down and for him to cheer me up. i've been revising for quite a few hours now and nothing is going in, so i'm going to go upstairs, to the quiet of my room and do more, probably until about 12 o'clock.

the only thing that has kept me going throughout this weekend, and the 15 and a half hours that i've worked, which the money has just gone to that bastard who robbed me, is the thought of tomorrow night. tom is picking me up around 7ish, but i have to pack and have a shower beforehand, we are going to meet eddy, and then it's five days of me and tom, and messy, messy times.

love, catherine.

lover,

2008-05-31T14:48:00.000+01:00

as much as i honestly do love the internet, it needs to go away. if i'm not writing on here, i'm on myspace, or facebook, or internet shopping. not only do i not have the time to do this, and right now should be desperately trying to cram media and history into my brain, right now i don't have the money to be internet shopping either. i'm so incredibly tempted to buy a skirt from american apparel, but i know i should save my money seeming i'm going to a five-day party next week and need lots and lots of ££££. and! i'm missing hollyoaks right now.

anyway, tom came over, enjoyed his meal, we went to the pub, had a nice night. i went to his thursday, after meeting eddy, and drove about, drank a bit, and he took me to the sex and the city movie, which i thought was really nice of him, seeming a) he is a boy b) he clearly doesn't enjoy sex and the city and c) i'm sure he would much rather have just been at home doing something else. also, he paid, and for drinks as well! so, i felt very happy, and then the film was just incredible. throughout, i was gasping, biting my nails, close to tears, or beaming with happiness. it honestly was just everything i expected. the wardrobe, especially, was breathtaking, fantastic. some outfits were a little, 'eerrhh?', but i believe having style is not following the trends, it's having the confidence and esteem to wear anything you like and pull it off, despite what others may think when they see it.

afterwards, was slightly strange. probably just due to the high love content in the film, i felt so close to tom. and i felt, like i should tell him something. but then i doubted whether i should, seeming we've been 'official' for just over a week, and seeing each other for two months. and i know, i know it's far too early to even mention the L word, but recently i'm finding it difficult to avoid despite my own doubts anyway. aaahhh! boys eh.

i stayed at his thursday night, and got woken up to chris and joel telling us his car had been broken into at 6.45 am, which was quite horrible. it seems people had tried to hot wire it, and either gotten disturbed or just given up, because they obviously didn't manage to steal the car. they did manage to steal some quite important things to tom though, but he's fine with it. so he took the day off work and drove me home to work, where i went, and where i have been this morning for six hours.

now, hollyoaks is calling and so is revision, as much as i really, really do not want to do any, i know i need to a lot tonight or i will be crying and panicking tomorrow, haha.

most likely won't be writing much over the next week, working and revising more tomorrow, six hours of exams on monday, and then i'm at toms until friday which will be super :) then he's going to portsmouth though, which is crap.

p.s. looking forward to this tonight!

this is an emergency,

2008-05-28T15:44:00.000+01:00

despite setting my alarm for eight a.m. today, i woke up at one, not even then. and despite thinking i could sit down and do an amazing amount of revision today, i've done none.

tom is coming over later, and i'm making him a vegan meal, with chips incase he doesn't like it, haha. hence, i need to get a shower, and get ready, and do more revision before he arrives around 7.30, by which time the meal needs to be ready also. we're going to the pub after, and i reeeeeally want to wear my new purple peep toe heels, but they're a little inappropriate for a quiet, country pub.

i've seen an outfit sarah jessica parker wearing in the new SATC movie, that i want to recreate, involving a long cardigan, over the knee socks, shoe boots, a skirt and a plain top, but i'm having difficulty, despite it sounding so simple.

i think that's my plans for tomorrow, going to see that movie with tom, who actually agreed to go and see it without me falling at his knees begging or bribing him with sexual favours, haha. and to pay a trip to oxfam vintage after seeing far too many items i neeeeeeeeeed after my visit on saturday. i'd also enjoy a new magazine, or two, or three..

love, catherine.

she bangs the drums,

2008-05-27T16:02:00.000+01:00

so, another journal failed, another one created.
first entries are always, nonsense, really, lacking a point altogether. so i may as well carry on the tradition and make this as pointless as the rest, really.
it's 16.08, i've been home for around seven hours, and have done nothing except read magazines, eat, and create this, before i leave for work at 6.

who knows, perhaps then maybe i'll return with something more decent to talk about.
love, catherine.